MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - March 3, 2005 -

The recent hire of plumber Ed Kowalsky has the Internet abuzz with rumors that Google (GOOG) may offer a toilet service in the coming months. While Google has not released any official statement, technology insiders believe that the popular search engine may see a huge opportunity for profit in the lucrative home fixtures market, currently dominated by American Standard and Kohler.

Speculation about the gtoilet has focused on its anticipated feature set. "The possibilities are limitless," said Internet pundit Irwin Grimace. "Judging from past initiatives like gmail, we can expect a huge increase in storage capacity and a better user experience. Why flush when you have eight times the storage of other systems? A urinalysis feature could allow the system to gauge metabolic statistics and other medical data. And it goes without saying that the search function in a gtoilet would be nonpareil."

Others are more guarded in their anticipation of the gtoilet, citing privacy concerns. Anton C. Sousa, columnist for the magazine Desktop Weekly, noted: "If the Gtoilet follows the lead of Google and Gmail, the business model will be targeted ads. Sure, it would be nice to see ads for All Bran or Metamucil after an atypically long session. But do you really want internet advertisers to know how drunk you were last night?"

Details of the contract between Kowalski and Google are sketchy, but sources revealed that Kowalski has ordered three vaccuum breakers, a cone washer, and a j-bend from his supplier, and that he has only scheduled one week onsite with Google.

A whois of the domain gtoilet.com revealed no registration, and it is expected that attention to the gtoilet will wane somewhat on Friday, when a three-minute Japanese cartoon about a masturbating robot is due for release.