?? March 2005 | Main | May 2005 ??
Help has arrived for the boring
My problem is too many ideas and absolutely nothing to say about any of them. But for the true stultificator, here are some things to get you past the livejournal emoticon.
As a bonus, these will work as general conversation starters, in good-old-fashioned meatspace. Just in case your guests meet your bobble-head doll collection with silence.
Guess the Google
In the why-didn't-I-think-of-that department, Guess the Google is a moderate amount of fun for Tuesday time-wasting.
Celestial Conflagrations
I missed this one a few months ago. Via BoingBoing, Star Wars knockoff toys from the late seventies. At least one here is actually a Silent Running knockoff (or genuine article), and the flash interface is unfortunate. But some of the items are deliciously shameless. Pictured here, a unique example of pure theft in the catalog: Behind the space dildo, a star destroyer has managed to find itself in space with the pod from 2001. It's sort of a cosmic surreal life.
Head: It's not just a Mike Nesmith movie anymore.
How to build a head for under $600.
New York on 155 square feet a day
Apartment Therapy's smallest coolest apartment contest has come up with some true wonders of compactness. Word on the street has it that the Japanese have us licked in the efficiency apartment department. But shoes on or off, 155 square feet isn't a lot of space to play handball.
Things I learned today:
1. There's this neat little park in midtown called Paley park that has a big waterfall. It's around the corner from the Rolex Building.
2. The Rolex building was originally a Georg Jensen department store, until 1968. It was gutted and refitted in 1972, which is why it's ugly.
3. Hydrogen peroxide does not cause an apple to oxidize faster.
4. Dry erase does not come out of matte-finished formica. I wrote on my sink counter to perform the H202 experiment above.
5. Tony Danza is not a member of Mensa, as I have been telling people. I'm not sure where I heard that, but as far as I can tell it's not true.
Crips, Bloods, or Hanna Barbera?
Proving that it's unsettling to see Bugs Bunny among street bubble letter artistry, this guy graffitis various licensed characters on public property. Fun! I wonder if it ever made boing-boing.
When animated GIFs strike
Sites that Suck, sort of a latter-day Mirsky's Worst, is a great joy to me. I will visit it many times in the future. I just hope they don't find the first few sites I created. Via whitespace.
5 Business Email cliches I'm sick of
- let's touch base
What's the metaphor here? You might think baseball, but let's face it: in baseball two people who touch the same base at the same time are generally on opposing teams. If you were going to use an baseball metaphor, it'd be "go out to the mound." But this raises the uncomfortable question of which party is manager and which is the pitcher. (hint: if you're talking to someone who you can fire, you're not the pitcher)Maybe it's from cricket.
- And we'll go from there
This means nothing. It's essentially saying, "I don't want to think any farther ahead than Tuesday in this email, but I want you to think I have a plan hidden up my sleeve." Nixon probably used this construction in Telexes to the Joint chiefs of staff between 1969 and 1973.
- I just wanted to...
Weak construction that has no business being in the past tense. Do you no longer want to? Why just? This construction is appropriate if you have to tell Blofeld you let James Bond escape. When you're writing to Ted from accounts receivable, it's toadying. - If you could... that would be great
This little gem, made famous from Office Space, goes one step beyond "I just wanted to" and uses the subjunctive. Which reduces your order or request to a Disney heroine's wistful introductory musical number. If I could find Prince Charming, maybe I could escape the cruel clutches of my stepmother. If you could attach the excel document from the March budgeting meeting, you wouldn't be a moron. The rest of the universe would look the same. - Going Forward
First, let me say that I don't object to this because of the spatial metaphor. I just don't like the fact that the spatial metaphor assumes we're all going in the same direction. Sort of like the word "Enterprise." It's a goddamn business, not a spaceship. "From now on" works fine, saves a syllable.
Google Maps + Craigslist Synergy
Need an apartment in the US? These guys scraped craigslist and created a page which uses google maps to pinpoint each location. It's a beautiful application.
Have money to burn?
.2) How do you make a contribution to reduce the debt?Please follow these important steps to make a contribution to
reduce the debt.1. Make check payable to the "Bureau of the Public Debt"
2. In the memo section of the check, make sure you write
"Gift to reduce the Debt Held by the Public "
3. Mail check to -ATTN DEPT G
BUREAU OF THE PUBLIC DEBT
P O BOX 2188
PARKERSBURG, WV 26106-2188
MST3King the NYT. But Serious-like.
The Annotated Times scrapes the New York Times homepage and rejiggers it to include weblog citations.
